May 29, 2013

W W Wednesday!

So life is going well, considering. I have my health, and my family. Still questioning the job move, but these things always make you question your decisions. I hope all of you are doing well, and wish you all the best!

These are the things that get me UP, and moving in the morning. 

I would take that off with my teeth...

Dining available in the rear...

Sudsy. I bet all the good bits are squeaky clean! 

No, No, No, you're doing it wrong! Clothes have to come off...
Gotta love some plaid!

I need this inside of me, right now, and all of it. 

My future handy man. I might also use him for around the house repairs, too.

March 16, 2013

Venting time...

I am pissed. I am pissed at my partner of more than 7 years, I am pissed at my freeloading family, and I am pissed mostly at myself. All I fucking try to do is help people and I get fucked over in the end. I am currently supporting 3 people in my house who refuse to get a job. I am talking mortgage, power, cable, food and miscellaneous things like gas and cigarettes. They watch me go to work day after day, week after week, and so long as all the utilities get paid and there is food on the table, there are no complaints. The second I run outta cash, I get blamed for not budgeting properly. I find this disgusting. I am better than this, I deserve better than this, I deserve a family that cares about me as much as I care about them. I deserve a partner who is not willing to throw me under the bus for the first shiny thing that comes along. Even if he did not take the final step, the intention is still there, and it hurts me in away that I did not realize was possible. My heart is truly broken, and I want to cry, scream and throw a fit, but in my soul, I know it would not accomplish anything, except more sorrow and heartbreak. I am so tired spiritually, and emotionally, I am incapable of making the right decisions and that too causes me sorrow. I used to be able to make the right choices and know what to expect, now all of that has changed, and I for certain make the wrong moves, and that is foreign to me. I ask God/higher power for help, and that seems to be a useless endeavor, and only solidifies the feeling of emptiness and aloneness, that has been permeating every fiber of my being in the last week. I do not know how much longer I can keep this all up. I feel that I might snap, and I am not sure what that means. I have a feeling it will be the exact opposite of what most people would do; I will probably just slowly and quietly shut down, both emotionally and spiritually, and stop caring about everything except for myself. I envy people who are able to look past suffering, and be so aloof and removed from situations that they are able to not care about anything. I am hoping that this all gets better, but for the time being, I just have to cut out my heart and get moving.

March 9, 2013


Update time. I know that it seems that I am lazy when it comes to this whole blogging thing, and I am. There I said it. I sometimes have the intention of a Roman conqueror, and the actual follow through of a small penguin. So, yeah it has been a while. Let me get you all up to-date. New Work is going well, I am enjoying it. I sit in an office for 8 hours a day, and speak to no one. I work on tasks that are emailed to me, and get them done, and send a request for more. Its boring as hell, but the pay and benefits are okay. There are still other options around, and I am examining all of them, closely. I do have some interesting news from old work though, and we can file it under Karma:

            I got a phone call the other day from Tom, he was the service manager while I was at House O'hell AC, inc., and this is what is happening: the General Manager, the guy who made my life a living hell, has decided that its time to quit that shit. He was telling everyone that life just got real bad for him and he is 'sick', but he would not tell anyone what it was. So he leaves, and Tom gets the GM position, which is GREAT, I could not be happier for him, he is truly deserving of it. But there is a catch: Larry was not Sick, or even almost sick. He is a Liar. Come to find out that he bought a competing AC company less than 20 miles away. He is in direct violation of his Non-Compete, and general human decency. Now they are going to have to sue him to really make him pay. On top of all that, there is money, lots of money missing from the Coffers. I had to write a statement, detailing all of the money that I used while I was office manager. He was trying to hide missing money in the budgets of his poor, unsuspecting employee's. I will also say that I wish this had happened while I was still there, because now a Wonderful opportunity has opened for me, and it will be equally hard to accept, and say No to. I am so new in my position with the state that it would look bad if I left to go back, but if/when offered the position, It would be equally hard to say no to the money, and opportunity. So I will be at a cross roads when it comes time.

So in other news, my half-way better half is doing everything he needs to so he is a better person, he is now going to NA and actively in recovery, he is more attentive, and happy. But with every 'UP' in my life, there is a down as well. I do not think he is happy with me. I understand that, but there are less painful ways to go about it.

Case in point:  Last night I had to help my friend call the IRS. When we called, the automated system told us they were closed. I tried *67 my number so they would not know where I was calling from, but it still managed to get us. So I got smart. I downloaded the Google Voice App, and used a Beverly Hills area code to call them from, and it worked (because I am just that smart). Any who, I decided to be a little playful with my better half, and sent him a dirty text from the new number. He responded, and seemed intrigued. Instead of outing myself to him, I wanted to see how far he would go with it. He went farther than I had expected. He started thinking that I was someone else whom we both know, and basically threw me under the bus. When I (pretending to be this other guy) pointedly asked him about our relation ship, I got the answer,

"We have bigger issues right now, whatever happens happens, life is good". 

So I know where I stand in his mind. I confronted him about it before I went to bed, just to let him know. He seemed almost sad, but I am assuming because he was almost caught, not because of actually doing it. I guess it will be oh-well for now. Alright, I am going to go start working around the house. I have to, I have gotten entirely too lazy too own a house.

January 3, 2013

Thick Thursday...

Nothing exciting to report from new work today, I am hoping to get upgraded to Windows 7, but that is as eventful as it got today. Did see coffee burn boy, offered to buy him a coffee, he said only if I get it from the machine...

Okay, so trying out a new Thursday, let me hear what you all think. Kinda getting tired of the whole 'twink' thing. Don't get me wrong, the good lord knows I love a cream filled twink (at least that's what my priest told me before condemning me to hell..), but every once-in-awhile, you want a beefsteak.

January 2, 2013

New Job is trying to kill me... But for why does it not love me?

I had a relatively dangerous day... It started out with the coffee machine spewing hot coffee everywhere on the guy in front of me. He was cute, tight dockers, fuzzy little beard, but all the attraction goes out the door when you hit the floor screaming "oh god! its inside my shirt" and then don't have the decency to remove said shirt. I would have gladly dragged him off to a dark corner and nursed his burns with my tongue used a cool compress on his injuries. But alas, it was not to be. So THAT was my first escape with death (or at least horrific pain, which with my pain threshold, is usually preferred). So after I am in my office for a while I get called over to the North Tower 9th floor for more 'new hire paperwork'. I and another new girl go over to sign our crap, and after we finish we go to the 9th floor lobby and call an elevator car. We hear the most OBNOXIOUS screeching and then a huge BANG, and the doors open to this:

Going Down to HELL!!! MUWHAHAHAHAH (that's what I heard in my head)

So, yeah... we both step back as if something hideous was coming at us. Not disfigured toddler hideous, I mean one of the Kardashians standing there beckoning us to step in Hideous, yeah that bad... My co-worker tried to push the button and call another car, and the 'demon car' (as we call it now) just kept going DING-DING-DING, I am here use ME!   We took the stairs...

No! not all the way down, just one flight, and we used another car that came. You think I am WALKING down NINE flights of concrete steps... I didn't see where I wrote "hot frat boy convention in the stair way"... Sheesh.

Anyway about an hour later, there is a bunch of commotion, and I walk out to see what is going on, and the fire department has shown up at the North tower...  Did not cross my ferret like mind that something could have happened with the 'Demon Car'...  Sure as hell enough 30 mins later I get the scoop from the building security: and this is what goes on my FB:

Yup, some stupid tricks did something stupid...

Yep, you guessed it. Someone was stupid/deranged/suicidal enough to get into that damn car.... I swear to god that there are people out there that should not be allowed to breath OR breed...

 And that was escape from death # 2. Enough for me for one night, thankyouverymuch!

So that was my epic exciting day. I am doing a new twist on Thursday.. I am going to try to do 'Thick Thursday' see how it works out.

You'll have to tune in to see what part is the 'thick' one though...