Thick Thursday...

Nothing exciting to report from new work today, I am hoping to get upgraded to Windows 7, but that is as eventful as it got today. Did see coffee burn boy, offered to buy him a coffee, he said only if I get it from the machine...

Okay, so trying out a new Thursday, let me hear what you all think. Kinda getting tired of the whole 'twink' thing. Don't get me wrong, the good lord knows I love a cream filled twink (at least that's what my priest told me before condemning me to hell..), but every once-in-awhile, you want a beefsteak.

New Job is trying to kill me... But for why does it not love me?

I had a relatively dangerous day... It started out with the coffee machine spewing hot coffee everywhere on the guy in front of me. He was cute, tight dockers, fuzzy little beard, but all the attraction goes out the door when you hit the floor screaming "oh god! its inside my shirt" and then don't have the decency to remove said shirt. I would have gladly dragged him off to a dark corner and nursed his burns with my tongue used a cool compress on his injuries. But alas, it was not to be. So THAT was my first escape with death (or at least horrific pain, which with my pain threshold, is usually preferred). So after I am in my office for a while I get called over to the North Tower 9th floor for more 'new hire paperwork'. I and another new girl go over to sign our crap, and after we finish we go to the 9th floor lobby and call an elevator car. We hear the most OBNOXIOUS screeching and then a huge BANG, and the doors open to this:

Going Down to HELL!!! MUWHAHAHAHAH (that's what I heard in my head)

So, yeah... we both step back as if something hideous was coming at us. Not disfigured toddler hideous, I mean one of the Kardashians standing there beckoning us to step in Hideous, yeah that bad... My co-worker tried to push the button and call another car, and the 'demon car' (as we call it now) just kept going DING-DING-DING, I am here use ME!   We took the stairs...

No! not all the way down, just one flight, and we used another car that came. You think I am WALKING down NINE flights of concrete steps... I didn't see where I wrote "hot frat boy convention in the stair way"... Sheesh.

Anyway about an hour later, there is a bunch of commotion, and I walk out to see what is going on, and the fire department has shown up at the North tower...  Did not cross my ferret like mind that something could have happened with the 'Demon Car'...  Sure as hell enough 30 mins later I get the scoop from the building security: and this is what goes on my FB:

 

 

 

Yup, some stupid tricks did something stupid...

Yep, you guessed it. Someone was stupid/deranged/suicidal enough to get into that damn car.... I swear to god that there are people out there that should not be allowed to breath OR breed...

 And that was escape from death # 2. Enough for me for one night, thankyouverymuch!

So that was my epic exciting day. I am doing a new twist on Thursday.. I am going to try to do 'Thick Thursday' see how it works out.

You'll have to tune in to see what part is the 'thick' one though...

Wow Wow Wednesday!!!

So, I feel a little better about getting you all (crickets) updated about my life and times. So I will get an early start to the posting. I am going to do a little bit of an eclectic version of WWW, just let me know what gets you drooling (or leaking other fluids as the case may be) and what you would rather see me leave in the cobwebbed infested corners of my skull! You be the judge! Without further ado:

Just Fucking Perfect! 

How I *WISH* I wrestled in High School

Yes, all of it. No, don't 'Go Slow', pussy.

No, I will not be needing a blanket, just let me set up the camera...

Someone's been wearing a speedo...

I'll sit on this Santa lap any day...

If you stare long enough, an Ocean will appear in the background. Awesome trick!

Not well lit, but just enough light for what I'm going to do...

So fucking hot, I would take those off with my teeth.

Yes, I would like some tea, please.  I know what I am going 

to use to stir it, too.

Why even BOTHER with the pants, take 'em off, and make me happy!

This is my week planned out, I rest on Sunday, of course.

How New Years eve ends at My house...

New Year, New Job, New lifestyle Changes...

I do not make new years resolutions. I feel that they are counter productive, and create and unnecessary feeling of pressure around oneself. I make changes as I am ready for them, and ready to be the person I want to be. I started this little blog in the hopes that it would allow me a chance to express myself in a open and free way. I have not completely fulfilled my expectations of this blog. I will start to do better. So now it is time for some updates.

On December 3rd, after less than a month being in my new position at 'Satan's house O' hell Air Conditioning' I was brought in to the managers office, and informed that the contract with the Big Orange home improvement store that my position is dependent upon had cancelled. I was shocked, amazed and ecstatic. I was free, I WAS FREE. I know, 1 week before my birthday and 3 weeks before Christmas, usually one does not leap for joy when they are fired. However, if you have ever read this blog or just glanced through to get to the pictures, you will know that I HATED my job, my Employer and was constantly looking for a newer, shinier job. Well, after about a week of unemployment, I was offered a GREAT position with the state. One of those jobs that you apply for in October, interview twice for in November and obtain a conditional offer of employment in December, pending a background check, fingerprints, psych-evaluation, etc. I started Friday, and I love it. Not going into detail, but it is with the department of Revenue. I wanted everyone (crickets) to know what was going on, and I promise to resume normal publishing ASAP.

For now, here is wishing everyone a wonderful New Year. I hope that you get everything that you ever wanted, and more. Remember, that if you continually strive for what you want, you will get it, and if you don't you will know you tried.

Good Luck in 2013!

So, it has been a while....

Hello!
      I know that it has been a while. Boy do I have updates for you! Lets start first with my Job. Yes, I am still employed by House 'O Hell Air Conditioning!

Why!?!?! I hear you scream at the computer. Why would someone who so obviously HATES his job, people he works with and the position, continue to torture himself?

Because I am into pain and Sadomasochism! (But that's a post for another day!)

Because 3 days before I was planning my terminus at HOHAC, I was offered a new position.

The general manager asked me into his office, and said 'I want to play a game..' .   Wait, no that was a nightmare I had. Never mind. My GM would never speak directly to me.

I was informed via a thrice forwarded email that I had been mentioned as the only person with the skill, determination, and right level of insanity to turn one of our programs around. I will explain the job and the pros and cons to this upgrade, and I will list them Henceforth:

My new position requires me to coordinate the program inside the "the home improvement store". Yes I am being particularly elusive. But here is the jist of of it:

Most people do not know that the T.H.I.S offers HVAC services. Repair, Replacement, and tune ups. Our job inside the store is to make sure the customers know about these services. You can pay for anything you need concerning your Air Conditioner or heating needs with your T.H.I.S credit card. I employ people to walk around the store and speak to customers about what we do.  We are contracted with the corporate office of T.H.I.S, and there are certain expectations that are expected. We are expected to produce 50% of the HVAC revenue inside the store. Each individual store is expected to also produce 50%. It is a continuous battle with them, and my employees to produce, produce, produce.

I also will qualify for a nice $ bonus at the end of each month, and quarter if all of my stores meet their numbers.

Pros:

1) Pay increase. From Hourly to Salary, baby!
2) Insane amount of Independence. I work when I want, how I want. Mostly from home.
3) I report to 2 people, who could care less about this program. So it makes my job all the easier. (and also I can play them against each-other!)
4) I get paid mileage.$.51 a mile, to be exact.Considering my territory stretches from Titusville to Windermere, and Ormond Beach to Poinciana, I am driving a crazy amount of miles.

Cons:

1) One of the people I report to is someone I dislike. I dislike him in a personal way, though. Kind of like alligators. I don't mind alligators, but when one is trying to chomp on me or my dogs, I tend to dislike them.

He is a Mormon, I am not.

He thinks that I should denounce my homosexuality, and live as a celibate.I do not.

His managerial skills are comparable to Casey Anthony's parenting skills. (Too Soon?)

He is unable to receive calls while in his temple. Not sure if this is a reception issue or what, Need to ask him about that.

2) I primarily work the week-ends. :( Thursday through Monday. This is sad, as it lowers my chance of Drunken frat boy- encounters, but I figure any frat boy drunk on a Monday or Tuesday is more my type anyway (my type being the drunk ones)...

3) I have to manage, hire, fire, and ensure production of up to 10 people. For 20 different locations. It is unimaginably hard, first to find people who are not crack addicted assholes. I am amazed that I keep hearing people on the radio and TV complaining about unemployment. Not in my corner of the world. The only people who seem to call for an interview are people who found my add in a truck stop restroom, or on crackheads.com. I used my personal cell # for both of those ad's so I know that's not the case.

Meanwhile in the world of Aaron:

        Marie (my prison buddy) is still insanely annoying. She calls 10 fucking times a week.  I am trying to be understanding with her. I am having a tough time with it. She can complain a lot, and is really upset about all things. But it is just her being her. I continue to drive her mother up there every other Sunday.

        I (we) bought me (us) a new car. It is a nice and shiny 2011 Ford Fusion SEL V6.  Lots of Factory warranty to go. I am enjoying it, but I can only drive it 4 days a week. The half-way better half drives it, too. We get to share.

On that front things have not improved. I find myself attracted to pretty much anyone but him, and I think it is his personality and disposition that has turned me off. I am getting more and more flirty and out with people. I was flirting with a pharmacist last night, and found the whole experience enjoyable.

I had an ouch moment a few nights ago, when my best friend (Tiffanie) smacked me with a dose of reality that only special friends have the ability to...

         Me: (showing her a pic of a random guy from work) This is my type. I would enjoy this...

        Tiffanie: Anyone who shows you attention is your type. You would enjoy anyone with a pulse...

        Me: Ouch, bitch.

        Tiffanie: Honey Badger don't give a shit.

That about sums up our relationship.

Okay,
          That is it for now, folks. Will resume WOW Wednesday tomorrow!